A Double Edged Sword

In the finest traditions of courageous, reckless and daring British explorers, I decided to brave the two centimetres of snow and venture out to a local garden centre. My noble quest was to get a new Christmas tree stand, as ours had become a bit tatty in the recesses of the shed…

Noble, indeed!

My conviction in my aforementioned courage and bravery ebbed when I noticed the rest of the county had also braved the conditions and descended on the garden centre, which does a roaring trade in everything festive from about mid-August. The business strategy was finely tuned with every possible festive need catered for. Furthermore, in place of the ubiquitous Christmas songs, a cheerful, sleigh-bell backed recorded voice highlighted the different festive offers the eager shoppers could snap up.

One such offer exhorted shoppers to ‘take the stress out of Christmas’ with a wrapping service offered in the store.

Now, Christmas can be a lot of things to different people but really time off work, guzzling your favourite food and spending time with the people you love should surely not be stressful – even with the evils of wrapping to be contended with! In a world where children starve and adults go to war over tiny strips of land, the notion that getting brussels to the plate at the same time as the turkey could be stressful seems somewhat ludicrous.

This seemingly ludicrous notion underpins the greatest truth about stress. It is relative and contextual. While psychologists and psychiatrists will point to the symptoms that suggest we are reaching the breaking point of stress overload, we know that our concepts of stress and our resistance to its hugely debilitating effects are entirely individual and hugely conditioned by a wide range of social factors.

How does this help us when we start to contend with exam-related stress faced by our young people? In the first instance, we must take their stress seriously. Do not apply our own standards or scale of stressors because, naturally, your stressors and resistance to stress will inevitably not be the same as a young person facing exams. A guaranteed way to exponentially increase stress levels is to inform a young person that they shouldn’t be feeling stressed. It doesn’t take a great deal of imagination to picture a scenario whereby a young person facing exams voices concerns about the stress they are feeling and an adult dismisses their feelings:

Stress? You don’t know the meaning of the word! When I was your age I was holding down 12 jobs to feed my brothers and sisters/I was fighting a battalion of Germans single-handedly on a beach in France/I lost my arms in a loom in the mill but still carried on sticking labels on ketchup bottles at the factory!

Utterly counterproductive – and don’t think our young people can’t recognise hyperbole when they’re smashed in the face with it!

Worse still, the above hypothetical conversation misses a huge opportunity. Perhaps our greatest obstacles in helping our young people meet the challenge of the stress they’re facing is effectively recognising that stress in the first place and putting measures in place to reduce those stress levels.

That’s right -"reduce those stress levels”. Seeking to eliminate stress completely is both unrealistic and potentially counter-productive to our overall aim of happy, healthy young people tackling exams to the very best of their ability.

Stress is not automatically negative. Complete absence of exam-related stress is strongly indicative of complacency or sheer ignorance of the importance of the exams ahead. The pay-off for a strong performance in exams and gaining a great set of qualifications is well documented and requires no further elaboration here. Nevertheless, the life-long safety net that good qualifications offer means that the stakes are high. A feeling of nervous trepidation – perhaps a nagging, butterflies-like fluttering in the pit of the stomach is wholly appropriate. These exams are really important, after all. Of course, there is a future for those with disappointing results. There is just the possibility of a better, more secure future armed with a great set of qualifications.

For any young person fully aware of the magnitude of their forthcoming exams, stress is inevitable –and can be an asset. In May 2015, The Telegraph reported on Dr Kelly McGonigal’s eight year study that highlighted the dichotomy between ‘good stress’ and ‘bad stress’. Dr McGonigal, of Stanford University, highlighted that ‘good stress’ characterised by short term bouts of limited anxiety can prompt highly efficient, independent work. Manageable stress can be a motivating factor and can lead to an improved, goal-orientated focus.

The flip-side to this unexpected bonus of ‘good stress’ is the concomitant ‘bad stress’. This we all recognise as being potentially hugely debilitating and with associated risks to mental and physical health. As well as being hugely damaging to a young person, deteriorating mental and physical health will inevitably impact on the capacity to achieve in exams. More importantly, still, this sort of stress will also impact on a young person’s quality of life. While there are compromises and some sacrifices to be made by a young person chasing the best possible results, it is still important that they actually enjoy their existence. There is a whole lifetime to face the stressors of bills, deadlines, bosses and traffic jams and spending those priceless teenage years being miserable is an almost unforgivable sin. That some young people find such stress and pressure unbearable and look for other ways out –sometimes with devastating consequences -should be unacceptable to us all.

Deteriorating mental health, prompted by exam-related stress, carries a nasty sting in its tail insofar as it is largely invisible. Worse still those at most risk from breaching the tipping point are also most likely to hide the symptoms from those that care about them –and from themselves. When stress begins to impact on day-to-day mood, relationships, diet and sleep it is clearly no longer productive but often these symptoms can be masked or even hidden completely.

Identifying Heightening Stress Levels

We need an open and frank dialogue with our young people. It is a fine balancing act between accepting stress as an excuse for poor productivity and recognising that genuine, out-of-control stress will inevitably impact upon productivity and motivation. There are tools for distinguishing stress that has passed or is approaching the point where it will become counteractive to our aims of happy, healthy and successful young people.

Informally check for changes in those key symptomatic areas and ask those key questions: Has their mood changed? Has their appetite or diet changed? Periods of starvation or binging can indicate that there are wider problems that urgently need to be addressed. Does the young person have a good sleep routine? Are there bags under the eyes or do they seem unduly tired? Have relationships with friends changed and in particular, has the young person become isolated and uninvolved with their peer group? Although none of these indicative of a definite correlation with spiralling stress-levels they should persuade us to dig a little deeper. Help may be required to ensure that stress levels are just right to make the most of preparing for final exams.

If a young person is preparing well for exams they will inevitably be revising. It’s a great idea to take a real, genuine interest in the revision process. Be available to do quizzes and take an opportunity to learn new snippets of information. Let your young person teach you some new things and contribute to make revision as much fun as you can, with challenges, prizes and all sorts of incentives.

Being involved in revision provides an invaluable insight. Gently enquire not only whether revision is taking place but also what is being revised. Real evasiveness and a refusal to enter into any sort of dialogue should set alarm bells ringing. Productive revision will often have some sort of visible outcome: notes, mind-maps, flashcards, post-it notes, recorded tips. Your Spider-sense will tell you an evasive young person with seemingly no revision going on is probably not revising and there’s every chance your Spider-sense is spot-on! This would suggest that stress and pressure are now in the driving seat and motivation, focus and productivity are failing as a result.

There are other tools for recognising that the tipping point is approaching. Perhaps unsurprisingly the dialogue about the impact of stress has progressed further beyond our shores. Questionnaires that give an indication of rising stress levels are widely available on the internet. Americanise your Google search with ‘stress questionnaire for high school students’ for lots of viable options.

Of course, you know your young people best of all and will know best which approach to take. I would suggest that a frontal assault, will do little or nothing to improve the situation. Full-blown rows are only likely to further heighten stress levels and will increase the sense of isolation and even desperation the young person is facing.

Beating Bad Stress

Although the factors contributing to passing the tipping point into bad stress can vary widely, it is usually prompted by a sense that the magnitude of the task ahead is insurmountable and that the young person has lost control of their life. Unfortunately, there is no magic pill but organisation and beginning to lessen the load can make those feelings of helplessness begin to decrease.

Here are my five key tips for helping young people to avoid bad stress:

1. Be relentlessly supportive and positive

Be enthusiastic about revision and take every opportunity to be involved. Avoid any comparisons with siblings (or yourself, other friends or anybody!) and understand that tolerance to stressors varies widely. Listen patiently to worries and fears and do not dismiss them but equally look for and emphasise all the positives you can see. Praise progress and look calmly for ways forward when progress falters.

2. Have a plan

Effective revision must be supported by a revision timetable. The first thing that goes into a revision timetable should be down time, social time and hobbies. This will provide balance and rewards that will be earned by sticking to the revision timetable. Be realistic with the aims of the revision timetable. Initially a handful of half-hour sessions will encourage a young person to be successful. As discipline and productivity improve, then the amount of time dedicated to revision can be increased – particularly as exams near.

3. Encourage a balanced and healthy lifestyle

Providing plenty of meals with fresh ingredients and avoiding processed foods will properly fuel young people through an undoubtedly draining time. Young people revising will inevitably snack so ensure healthy snacks are available while avoid filling the cupboards with crisps and chocolate, which will do little for focus or improving self-image. Seven to eight hours of sleep should be aimed for. The internet is an incredible distraction, hugely addictive and a real obstacle to a good night’s sleep and so it is better to establish clear rules for usage –particularly when a young person should really be asleep. This may necessitate limiting wifi access and being willing to fight any battles that result.

Young people should also be having lots of fun. It is an essential part of a healthy lifestyle and you may need to encourage a young person to have a night off or even organise opportunities to remember what it is like to feel human!

4. Effective Revision

Passive, distraction-filled revision will do nothing to alleviate stress. In fact, spending time on revision that is ineffective is highly likely to heighten stress levels. Be involved in revision, wherever possible. Support the process by providing a quiet, distraction-free area to work in and incentivise with rewards for successful sessions. Young people should be revising in lots of creative and ideally fun ways that suit their learning style. Encourage them to take regular breaks and ensure they stay well hydrated and share in the success when revision is clearly paying off.

5. Avoid the post-mortems and always look forwards

Following exams, the only approach is to look positively forwards. Avoid any conversations about performance in exams that have now passed. It is too late to influence the outcome now and in all likelihood it will contribute further to stress levels. Look to the next set of exams and ensure our young people approach them as well prepared as possible.

Properly modulated, stress levels can provide an additional boost during a time when any edge should be seized upon. Left unchecked stress can lead directly to soaring anxiety and panic. Just a few careful steps and some emotional investment should ensure that stress is a friend rather than an unseen enemy capable of inflicting terrible damage.